ddogfilm

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

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11:25pm 17th May 2011

Dinner Time!

Once again the obvious must be taken into effect and ths mini post will regard tonights dinner selection. It was by sheer boredom and available food that this concoction was done and though it is obviously vegan, its also undeniably good and dead simple.

Garlic / bread crumb pasta

1 Lb of Angel Hair pasata ( or any type of long noodle you choose)

Place the pound of pasta in salted water till al dente.

While the pasta is cooking pour 4 tablespoons of canola oil in a shallow pain with 5 thinly sliced cloves of garlic with a healthy sprinkling of red pepper flakes and keep cooking on low flame till garlic is translucent, and quickly remove from flame so as to not become bitter.

Once the pasta and garlic is ready; strain the noodles and pout the oil over noodles to coat. Quickly begin adding generous amounts of bread crumbs (vegan bread crumbs if you can find them) till the pasta is no longer wet and more so on the verge between dry and moist from the crumb saturation. Once the pasta is fully prepared, season with 2-3 finely minced leaves of basil (preferably fresh but dried will suffice) and your choice of veggies can be added ( I find mushrooms/bell pepper works great) but is not necessary.