ddogfilm

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

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11:30pm 12th June 2011

Potato Pierogi’s with onions

Not so quick but definitely easy for anyone to make. Not quire entree and almost an appetizer, Potato Pierogi are an extremely inexpensive and tasty food that always quenches my hunger.

For the onions mixture get 2 large white/vidalia onions chopped fine and add it to a large sautee pan. (Though it may seem like an unnecessary large amount of onions, the filling will shrink considerably) Add oil to the pan to coat the majority of the onions and add low heat, stirring every 5 mins and at the 10 minute mark a tablespoon or red wine is optional. The entire cooking process for the onion takes about 20 mins.

Meanwhile in another bowl add 1.5-2 lbs of potatoes preferably baby yukons but any thin skinned potato will work fine, and add to lightly salted boiling water after cut into small chunks. Typically this will be the same process for making mashed potatoes in that you will remove the vegetable once fork tender.

After the potatoes are done remove from water/strain and add it to the now caramelized onions and mash the potato w/ the onions so the flavors full integrate.

Filling is now complete.

Now the “tricky” part. The dough. Yeah, I said it. these babies are gonna be the filling for what is essentially a kick ass empanada.

For the dough, your going to need:

3 Tablespoons canola oil
1 cup warm water
3 cups all purpose flour (plus a little extra for sprinkling)
3/4 teaspoon salt

In a large bowl add the oil and water and mix till integrated as possible. then add 2 cups of flower and the salt and mix with a fork till a small mound forms. Then, begin to kneed it by the hands your momma gave you slowly adding the remaining cup as you go along till completely used. Once all ingredients are mixed get the biggest god damn pot you got and boil. boil salted water to your hearts content, cuz thats where we’ll be cooking these bad boys. Now, while the water comes to boil get your dough and with a rolling pin roll the dough out to (if your Mexican, tortilla size) 1/4 inch depth and cut out small circles, typically around 3-4 inches and in each circle add a spoon-full of the potato/onion mixture, then crimp the edges on top so that its fully sealed (repeat the process till complete).

Once this is done, the obvious is next. Your gonna dump these little pierogis into the water about 7 at a time and will be ready typically in about 5 mins or until the float to the top. The process can also be done fried, if once is so inclined.

Once complete, the pierogi go great with fresh or store bought applesauce.

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